Oxygen: A study in failure.
Today the Oxygen network unveiled its first of the all-day America’s Next Top Model marathons. Basically they hawked it as a full season run all in one Sunday (with plans to run all the season in this way – 11 weeks of Sunday marathons!). As if that’s not enough for the Model-obsessed (guilty), they also promised new tidbits and interviews that would make the viewing awesome even for the most well-informed superfan.
I have literally arranged my life around this marathon. I did all my homework yesterday so there wouldn’t be any distractions. I decided to put off doing laundry this week so I wouldn’t have to tear myself away. I even got up “early” (you know, for being a non-work-day and a day-after-drinking) to make sure I didn’t miss a thing. What better than a day of Model madness to pull me out of my funk? Model makes everything better!!!
Not so.
For reasons unknown, Oxygen kicked off its marathon with the most recent cycle, Cycle 11, arguably the most boring of all the cycles. YAWN FEST. I feel like this one just ended. Why would they start here? Why not start from the beginning? Why not give us Cycle 1? Nobody ever shows Cycle 1! It’s the only season I haven’t seen start-to-finish! GIVE ME SEASON ONE!
Even worse, the tidbits are stupid (“Isis is the first transgendered model to appear on ANTM” – WHOA, what?!) and the interviews are online. Look, Oxygen: I don’t care about your online content. Give me my Model and give it to me on my television. Some kind of something starts tonight at 8pm, but that’s hours away. What’s my motivation for sticking around that long? Oh, gosh. There isn’t any.
You have ruined my day, Oxygen. You have ruined a Model marathon that could have (should have!!) been amazing. Those of us who are obsessive fans of ANTM will sit and watch marathons till the cows come home. We don’t even need special features. But when you hype it up as being super-amazing-wonderful, it had better deliver.
It didn’t. And now I’ve got nothing interesting to fill up the time.
